I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
