i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
