Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
