i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
