I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
