Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
