At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
