try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
