Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
