He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
