I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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