For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
