You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My vagina just recognized that song.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
