so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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