Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
