apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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