if i can run in heels then i can drive
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
