i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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