kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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