It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
We smell like vodka and hangover
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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