can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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