i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
