It's like God shit irony all over that family
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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