I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
