Did you just see the Batmobile???
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
