i don't like sucking hair
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
