I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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