Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
