We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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