She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
