one might say we're banned from that church
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
