I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
