Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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