But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
