she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
