I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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