sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
