Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
