They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
