i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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