The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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