Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
