ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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