He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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