roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
