yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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