Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
