It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
