In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
