i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
