Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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