At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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