I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
