Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
